just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
