You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Randomize
