is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
