At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
