I hate all girls vehemently.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your cock deserves a montage
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
