he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
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She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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