I like to think it a success when the cops are called
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
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She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
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Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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