Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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