why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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