eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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