I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Holy shit dude........stairs
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