Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
