So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
