today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
