my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
