woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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