i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
