I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
