I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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