God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Sorry my hands just texted you
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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