White coat. Heels.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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