The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize