i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
