wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Redeem this text for a blowjob
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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