Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
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I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
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my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
be right there i have to get my cape
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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