Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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