Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
