Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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