sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We left an ass print on the piano.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
