I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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