when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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