And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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