Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We named our party play list daddy issues
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
