I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
