He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My ass is underappreciated
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
