Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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