her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
no you cant smoke seaweed
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
