I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Bring me that man meat
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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