Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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