i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
