When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
