youre lurking in front of me
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
