i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
