Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
