Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I have tasted many bathrooms
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize