Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
