At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
