Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
