how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
