if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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