I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
