Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
