Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize