i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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