evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
