we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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