Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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