are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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